I wrote this way back in 1988, when I'd first gotten up the nerve to perform on my own without a band, at a tiny coffee house in Richmond, VA which no longer exists. Because it served no alcohol, it was patronized almost entirely by members of AA and Narcotics Anonymous, clean-livers who chain-smoked and drank so much coffee the entire place seemed to vibrate. Mrs. Olson, Dr. Ruth, and Juan Valdez may be lost to the ages, but this song somehow carries on.
lyrics
First thing in the morning
and if I had my way
the morning wouldn't come so goddamned
early in the day
But I've got the magic potion
to set my ass in motion
Three or four cups more
and I might get out the door
My doctor says to cool it
He thinks he's so smart
He says I better listen
before I percolate my heart
But I pour myself a cup or two
for every word he says
And I quaff a quart of caffeine
for every little bean
picked by Juan Valdez
See, me I have this theory
and it drips with the truth
it says, "Mrs. Olson's saved more marriages
than Dr. Ruth"
'Cause if baby's cup don't measure up
there's gonna be remorse:
She'll be brewing discontent
and leaving grounds for divorce
Now I'm sitting in a Denny's
and I'm feeling so fine
as the waitress fills my cup up
for the 52nd time
But now she's looking at me funny
She's moving kinda slow
Something ain't right here
I don't know...
I got places to go, people to see
Get me my chack, dammit!
Chop-chop, honey!
What's wrong with these people?
They think I've got all day?
And why is everybody looking at me that way?!?
There's something going on here
They're all out to get me
It's part of a big plot!
How much you wanna bet me?!?
They're trying to do me in!
What else am I to think?!?
They're gonna stab me in the back!
Or... put something... in my... drink.
(c) 1988, Ira Marlowe/Slow Reveal Music (BMI)
credits
from You can be part of a miracle.,
track released December 4, 2009
Performed live at the Bazaar Cafe, San Francisco.
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